Yesterday, I was talking to Claire* - an ex-client of mine who grew up with a Vietnam veteran father who had PTSD and was violent, and a depressed alcoholic mother. Claire is an extraordinary, creative, resilient woman, and she had tried countless therapies and self-help techniques over the past 25 years, none of which really resolved the issues resulting from her tumultuous childhood.
And still she had managed. Somehow. Meeting her, you would never have known that she was constantly being hijacked by her inbuilt alarm system (that primitive “fight, flight, freeze” response), that she had all sorts of limiting patterns and beliefs which she had inevitably taken on board as a child, that she felt out of control and often couldn’t control her rage. They just happened.
She was aware of many of these patterns and beliefs, but understanding them logically wasn’t enough to undo the negative impact they had had, and which they continued to have on her and her family. In all appearances, she had it all - success, intelligence, beauty, a wonderful family. But life was HARD. Life had always been hard. Ever since she could remember. And she was never enough.
She said that after our work (we completed our four sessions of The Richards Trauma Process™ about 6 weeks ago), the change she found most profound was that she now has a choice as to how she feels. It’s become very clear to her. She can now choose how she responds to her children, to events, to situations and circumstances. She can choose her response to herself.
Now she can live life on her terms, free from the negativity of the past. She gets to choose.